Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
