she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
