If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
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Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
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Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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