He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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