So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
