im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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