i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
