She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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