Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
