Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
