Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
