They have a pepper shaker for pot.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
