My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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