I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
