I wish I could teleport
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
