i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
