If i come over, it means nothing
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
