your room smells of hookers.
And success
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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