God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
3pm strippers are depressing
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
