dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
