I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
