If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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