I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
