If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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