I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
