to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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