Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
