yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
