after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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