Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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