We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
