I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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