I cannot find my penis.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
