I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
where am i from again
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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