question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
