he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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