btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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