I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
