The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
