Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
