Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
