Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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