i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sext me about skeletons
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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