Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Mom said you looked used
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
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