ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
