I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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