Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
