FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
