I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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