You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
