Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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