they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
