Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
