Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
