Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
