Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
