Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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