So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
