I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
