I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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