I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
