Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
